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16 Funny Quotes to Celebrate Mother's Day

by Noel Jameson

Moms definitely have their humorous moments and these 16 funny quotes are testimony to the laughs that mothers often enjoy (and sometimes endure). This Mother's Day, share these funny quotes with your mom and enjoy a moment of shared love and laughter.

  1. "Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." ~ Author Unknown
  2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger
  3. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller
  4. "There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ~ Chinese Proverb
  5. "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him." ~ Helen Rowland
  6. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin
  7. "A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." ~ Peter De Vries
  8. "It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~ Phyllis Diller
  9. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~ Oscar Wilde
  10. "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan
  11. "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammeus.
  12. "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown
  13. "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." ~ LisaAlther
  14. "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay." ~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar
  15. "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain
  16. "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." ~ Buddy Hackett

Yes, children often give their mothers something to laugh about. Hopefully it makes up for the things their children will inevitably do to make them cry. This year celebrate the humorous side of Mother's Day with a few good laughs and share these funny quotes with your mom.

For more funny quotes, check out the popular funny quotes section of Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specializes in 'Top 10' lists of quotations in dozens of categories.

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A Links

A Gift Personalized
Want to give a special gift, but not sure what. A Gift Personalized has that special gift and will personalize it too.
aceperfume
Designer fragrances and jewelry at affordable prices.
Alighthouse
Your number one website for sending free greeting e-card, Touch someones heart with uplifting inspirational graphics,music, poems, quotes, love greeting cards,flash, funny cards, free email greetings from alighthouse.com
All Things Trendy
Your search for crystal evening bags and gifts is over! Unique products, lowest prices, huge selection, fast delivery
Amazing Shaving
Men's shaving products: badger shaving brushes, straight razors, double edge safety razors, shaving mugs, soap, and more!
AmericanBridal.com
Accessories for the perfect wedding; ceremony and reception essentials; great bridal party gifts. Free personalization; lowest price guaranteed.
Apples of Gold
Fine, affordable gold jewelry and wedding bands, with 45 day return policy and free fedex shipping!
Arttowngifts.com
Find a wide selection of unique gift ideas at Arttowngifts.com

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B Links

BabyBeddingZone.com
Baby, toddler, and kids bedding.
Beau-coup
Where you will find wedding, baby, and party gifts and favors.
Bible Land Shop
Spiritual gifts from Israel
Bidz.com
Find authentic brand name jewelry, watches, & more at Bidz.com. Stunning jewelry at discount prices - sign up and make a bid online.
Big Discount Fragrances
Get designer fragrances from america's first brand name fragrance wholesaler. BigDiscount.com offers a large selection and amazing prices, Up to 90% off retail, on your favorite discount women's perfume, discount colognes, skin care, haircare, and fashion accessories
Birkat Elyon
Finest quality cubic zirconia jewelry - guaranteed!
Birthday in a Box
Birthday in a Box has been helping parents host memorable, affordable, fun, and educational parties since 1996.
BlanketWorx
There's nothing like a gift that says, You're special and one of a kind. BlanketWorx™ knits high quality custom-made blankets from your treasured photos! Check them out to see what else they put photos on such as sports balls, christmas stockings, totes, wall hangings, pillows and other personalized items.
Bliss Living
Unique baby gifts and children's room decor
Boscov's Department Stores
Eighty year old, family owned department store with great values and famous brands!

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C Links

Calendars.com
Find the perfect gift with the Calendars.com Gift Finder!
California Jeep Authority
Gifts, clothing, and accessories for Jeep enthusiasts.
Cardstore
Custom greeting cards with no minimum orders at Cardstore! Cardstore will mail cards for you! They send your cards directly to the addresses you enter.
CatsPlay.com
Everything imaginable for cats.
CCBerries/CCB Radiance LLC
True chocolate covered strawberries delivered nationwide.
Cheese Supply/Discount Candle
Over 700 cheeses imported directly from more than 15 countries at Cheese Supply
Chefs Catalog
Shop CHEFS® Catalog for great prices on top-brand cookware, cutlery, kitchen tools & more! Get FREE SHIPPING on orders of $25 or more - Click Here!
Chess House
Shop Top Gift Ideas from ChessHouse.com! smart minds. great memories.
ChristianGiftsPlace.com
Unique Christian Gifts
Cleopatra's Choice
Shop Skin Care and Cosmetics from The Dead Sea! Bath Salts, Body Mud, Soaps, Anti Wrinkle and much more! Get 10% off with coupon code ‘glow‘. Free Samples with Every Order!
Coffee For Less.com
The Preeminent Coffee Retailer on the internet..
CookieHQ.com
Fresh ideas in cookie gifts
Corner Stork Baby Gifts
Unique baby gifts, baby shower favors, and baby gift ideas
Crazy for Bargains
CrazyforBargains.com sells fun sleepwear for the whole family--men, women, kids, toddlers, and infants. Our selection includes pajama sets, pajama pants, boxer shorts, bath robes, and slippers. We feature fun novelty prints and great brands at discount prices. We have one of the largest selection of animal slippers on the Internet!
Critter Socks/Stuffed Ark Corporation
Socks inspired by your favorite animals. Images are knit into these quality socks, not embroidered or printed on the surface.
CyberCucina
Gourmet foods & beverages from Italy, France, and Spain

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D Links

Dan's Chocolates
Fresh Dan's Chocolates. Chocolate truffles, direct from the factory. Low shipping rates.
DaySpring
Shop the DaySpring Online Store
Designed 2B Sweet
Designed 2B Sweet carries a unique selection of kids party supplies! They also have supplies for wedding parties.
Details Art & Design
Unique, Fun & Functional Gifts & Home Decor. Perfect for all your gift giving needs!
Diecast Car Models
Great Deals
Direct Portrait
The best and most personal gift ever! Turn your photo in to a real oil painting.
DiscountCandleShop/Cheese Supply
Thousands of candles, candle holders and candle making supplies at discount prices
Discount Watch Store
Lowest Price guarantee-Free Shipping over $130 - Over 4,000 Watches - Hundreds of Women's Watches
drugstore.com
The uncommon drugstore.

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E Links

Earthtech Products
Unique gifts and products
Edible Gifts PLUS
Edible Treats of All Kinds!
Ejools .com
Shop for Rhinesone Jewelry, Accessories and Crowns here...
Elite Jewels
Designer jewelry up to 50% off.
Emitations
Get amazing deals on the latest celebrity inspired and original designs at Emitations.com. FREE Shipping on all orders over $75.00
Escape Concepts
Wedding, Bridal Shower, and Baby Shower favors.

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F Links

Fantasy Jewelry Box LLC
Affordable Jewelry for Expensive Tastes
FlipClips
Make a flip book from your favorite video clip at FlipClips!
Floraqueen
A birthday, another successful year in business, that first kiss, or simply to recall happy moments. Sending flowers is the best way to celebrate life's joyful moments. Show how important those moments are - with flowers!  
Forzieri.com
One of a kind Italian luxury items.
FragranceX.com
The best service, selection and prices on perfume and cologne.

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G Links

Gaiam
Gaiam.com: A Lifestyle Destination
GIANTmicrobes
GIANTmicrobes Handwashing Kit to keep you healthy is only one of more than 100 giant stuffed microbes that comes complete with the information and picture of the real microbe!
Giftsnideas.com/Gifting Inc.
Send Gifts Internationally. On time delivery. Refund or replace, if not satisfied.
Giftwarehouse.com/Allen Marketing Intl Inc.
Thousands of great gifts online for you and the ones you love.
GoToBaby
Give The Unique And Beautiful Baby Gift.
Gourmet Food Store
GourmetFoodStore.com - Gourmet food from the world delivered to your door!
Gourmet Station
Gourmet Meals Delivered
Greek Gear
Greek merchandise for alumni, family, and pets.

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H Links

Happy Kids Productions, Inc.
Personalized Gifts for Kids
Harry Mason Designer Jewelry
Unique and Unusual Jewelry at Affordable Prices
Home Living Style
Furnishings, Decor, Gifts, and More
HourPower Watches LLC
HourPower Watches open to reveal a photo and engraving.
House of Brides
World's Largest Online Wedding Store
Huggable Teddy Bears
Personlized teddy bears for every occasion. Everything you need in one great place.

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I Links

IceJerseys
NHL Jerseys & Custom Hockey Jerseys at IceJerseys.com
InnovaToys & Gifts
Unique and educational, innovative toys and gifts
ISeeMe.com
Click here for high quality personalized children's books at ISeeMe.com!

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J Links

Jacob Bromwell
Save 10% on All Purchases! For Over 190 Years, the Only Thing That’s Changed are the Memories You Create with Jacob Bromwell.  American company with American history.
JibJab.com
Funny eCards at JibJab.com
JRROSES.com
Fresh Flowers for Weddings and other Occasions. Discount Prices, Fast Shipping, Guarantee Quality.

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K Links

Kids Party World
Party supplies and party decorations for adult and kids parties. Great party favors, pinatas, accessories, and birthday party supplies for many themes. Also view our wedding, bridal shower, anniversary and baby shower supplies.
Kid Stuff In A Box/WC Enterprises of Michigan, LLC
Get the coolest gifts for your kids here - recliners, rockers, puppet theaters, indoor playhouses and kitchen play sets.

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L Links

L Michaels Jewelry Designs
L Michaels Jewelry Designs is your source for the most fashionable and health promoting magnetic jewelry.
Learn Our History
Children can learn and enjoy history with these cartoon videos from co-founder Mike Huckabee.
Little Keepsakes
The place to get those footprints, handprints, photos, or pawprints immortalized.
LobsterAnywhere.com
Maine Lobster shipped overnight to your door step from LobsterAnywhere.com. The most tasteful gift.
Luxury Perfume.com
Fabulous saving on all of your favorite fragrances.

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M Links

Mama Bebe & Co.
Unforgettable gifts for babies, children and their loved ones. Made mostly by artisans in the USA. Puzzle stools, jewelry, rocking horses and more. Free gift wrap! Theme Parties in a Box (tm) too!
MelissaandDoug.com Educational Toys
Free Personalization Of Any Toy Purchased Now at MelissaAndDoug.com! Click Here!
Memory Cross Inc.
Fun + Scripture = MemoryCross. Great for Sunday School crafts, memory cards, tracts. educational products, or many other projects.
Minted
The Freshest Designs on Paper
Music Box Attic
Jewelry Boxes, Music Boxes, Jewelry, Watergloges, Snowdomes, Musical Eggs, and Music Box Doll Collection
MyCandybarWrappers.com
My Candybar Wrappers.com - custom candy bars for weddings, baby showers, birthdays and more
Mystic Monk Coffee
Did you know that monks were the first to roast coffee? The Carmelite Monks of Wyoming continue this tradition with Mystic Monk Coffee. The monks also sell Monk Teas as well as accessories and religious gifts.
MyWedding Labels.com/My Own Labels
No-minimum custom labels, tags, coasters, and cards.

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N Links

Nest Entertainment
Nest Entertainment offers a wide selection of Christian Entertainment for the whole family.
Newegg.com
Newegg.com has all your computer and electronic needs!
No China Plush/Stuffed Ark Corporation
Premium Stuffed Aminals Not From China
Nose-N- Toes/Stuffed Ark Corporation
Gifts and collectibles with a llama theme.

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O Links

Ornament Shop
Personalized Christmas ornaments and gifts

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P Links

Pen Boutique Ltd
Shop at Pen Boutique. Free Shipping above $50. Largest Writing implements selections. Unbeatable price. Best of the best customer service.
Perfume.com
Every fragrance tells a story. Always delightfully low prices. Save 20% to 70% off retail on your favorite fragrance.
Personal Chef To Go
Say goodbye to dieting and say hello to delicious, everyday gourmet meals for today's health conscious consumer. Enjoy fine dining restaurant quality meals at half the cost!
Personalization Mall.com
Thousands of Gifts Personalized Free from PersonalizationMall.com!
Personalized by Annette
treasurechestofgifts.com is Friendly Folks Personalized Cartoons by Personalized by Annette. Over 450 Cartoon for Sports, Occupations, Holidays, Special Occasions, Military, Interests and More. Cartoons can be Matted (8X10)/Framed, mounted in: Snowglobes, Magnets, Key Chains or Mouse Pads. A personalized gift for everyone!
Precious Moments
Find world famous Precious Moments figurines collectibles and gifts for all occasions! Shop Now at PreciousMoments.com
Purdy's Chocolates
Gifts for Business, Weddings, Fundraising, or you.

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Q Links

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R Links

Red Hat Society Store
Find the Perfect Gift for Red Hat Ladies at the Official Red Hat Society Store!
Rogers Gourmet Coffee & Tea Market
Gourmet coffee for $6.99/lb at the Rogers Gourmet Coffee & Tea Market! Free shipping $50 or more. Flat Rate $5.99 for $30-$49.99. Fresh roasted, organic, shade grown. Coffee pods and one-pot convenience packs. Visit us today.
Ross-Simons
Fabulous Jewelry - Great Prices - 100% money back guarantee.
Russian Legacy, Inc.
Gifts from Russia with love.

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S Links

Santa Speaking.com/I Believe Productions, LLC
Schedule a Live Phone Call From Santa Claus!
SaveAround Coupon Book
Thousands of dollars in coupon savings at local restaurants, retail, entertainment, and recreation venues.
Scarves.com/Ties.com
Great selection of scarves; infinity scarves, square scarves, headscarves, knit scarves, neckerchiefs, pashminas scarf and hat sets, scarves for him, and even tutorials showing many ways to tie a scarf.
Shimmer & Stone
Shop for original designs in Men's and Women's Jewelry exclusively available at Shimmer & Stone - Engrave Online & Ship Free!
Shock Coffee
Hyper-Caffeinated Coffee? Yes! Best tasting cup of coffee? You better believe it!
Sierra Trading Post
Great Deals. Great Brands. Shop SierraTradingPost.com for great deals on name brand casual, dress, outdoor clothing and adventure gear. Check out our clearance, closeout and overstock men's and women's clothing, outdoor and sports gear, shoes, boots, kids clothing, and home furnishings... all at savings of 35-70% off retail!
Silverts.com
Elderly and Disabled Adaptive Clothing and Footwear.
Simple Truths
The Gift of Inspiration. Inspirations books that remind us of core values.
Snappy Photo Gifts
Find the perfect personalized gift. We have photo mugs, photo puzzles, photo sports balls, and a lot more.
Soccer.com/Sports Endeavors
Everything for soccer all over the world.
Soft Surroundings
Wrap Yourself and Your Home in Softness at SoftSurroundings.com
Sophie's Favors
Unique Favors, Gifts and Party Supplies, featuring colorful favor boxes, tin favors, flower soaps, novelty candles, mini candy bins, personalized favors, gift tags and labels, ribbons, wedding ceremony accessories, table decorations, and unique colors such as aqua blue and brown, pink and brown, and more.
Sparkle Cartel
Click Here for fine jewelry and accessories one deal at a time from SparkleCartel.com
Sports Memorabilia
Sports Memorabilia, Autographs, Signed NFL, MLB, NBA - Fast Shipping
StrawberryNET
Skincare-Makeup-Cosmetics-Fragrance
Stuffed Ark/Stuffed Ark Corporation
STUFFED ARK has over 500 of the best life-like stuffed animals. Wildlife, zoo animals, farm animals, dogs and cats, sea life, birds, and more. Easy secure shopping.
StuffedAnimals.com
Stuffed animals, teddy bears, characters, dolls, puppets, toys and much more
Stuffed Legends/Stuffed Ark Corporation
Plush characters from stories, tales and legends.
Sunshine Jewelry
67% OFF RETAIL - Additional 20% OFF Internet Discounts - FREE Gifts - Over 1,000 Jewelry Gift Items - 35 Years in Business - Lifetime & Money Back Guarantee!
SuntekStore
Gadgets & Accessories at bargain prices. Worldwide Free Shipping.

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T Links

Target
All the Deals - Only at Target.com
Tart Burners.com
TartBurners.com is a one-stop source for candles and accessories, monogram gifts, recipe keeping products, home fragrance, personal care and gifts for the home. TartBurners.com was started in 2002 as the Tart Burner Superstore and since that time has grown every year. We now have almost 5000 items across several categories of products stocked to ship from our warehouse. We offer free shipping for $75 ground orders (US48).
Taylor Gifts
Large line of As Seen on TV products as well as gifts for all occasions.
Tea District
Premium Teas and teaware.
The Black Bow
Jewelry for Men, Women and Children in Sterling Silver and 14 karat gold. Chains, necklaces, bracelets, rings...over 4000 items
The Comfort Company
Meaningful sympathy gifts to bring comfort and remembrance to those who are grieving. They also have Everyday Free Shipping on Select Sympathy Gifts
The Crab Place
The Crab Place has everything you need for a succulent seafood feast. From crab to soups and spices, they quickly deliver the highest quality products to your door.
The Jerusalem Export House
View the Jerusalem Export House Wholesale Catalog. Hand Made Gifts from the Holy Land including: Nativity Sets, Crosses, Crucifixes, Crowns of Thorn, Ornaments, Camels and more.
The Obsession Box Company
The place to fine quality gifts for all Occasions Holiday gifts, gifts for him, Mother’s Day Gifts, Father’s Day Gifts, Birthday Gifts, Baby Gift Baskets, Employee gifts like Corporate Gift Baskets, thank you presents including Starbucks Coffee Gifts, Movie Gift Baskets plus more.
TheChessZone
For All Your Chess Needs
ThrowThings.com
Click here for a really fun shopping site! It is the most bizarre site we've seen in a long time. ThrowThings.com has all sorts of unusual games and toys for kids of all ages.
Tianello, Inc.
Simply Beautiful Natural Fashion, Clothing and Jewelry
Ties.com/Scarves.com
Great selection of ties; neckties, skinny ties, bow ties, boys ties, novelty ties, tie racks, tie bars, cufflinks, collar bars, collar stays, cummerbunds, handkerchies, pocket squares, storage, tie chains, wallets, and even tutorials showing many ways to tie a tie.
Tiffany Lamp Central/TSC shops
Tiffany Lamps, Tiffany Lighting, Tiffany Lights, and accessories
timeanddate.com
This site has alot of information for time--date calculators, timers, time zones, calendars, weather, sun and moon, plus apps for your device.
Tiny Prints
Birth Announcements, Baby Shower Invitations, Holiday Cards & More
TooCuteBabyGifts.com
Unique baby gifts, baby shower favors, and personalized gifts
treasurechestofgifts.com
treasurechestofgifts.com is Friendly Folks Personalized Cartoons by Personalized by Annette. Over 450 Cartoon for Sports, Occupations, Holidays, Special Occasions, Military, Interests and More. Cartoons can be Matted (8X10)/Framed, mounted in: Snowglobes, Magnets, Key Chains or Mouse Pads. A personalized gift for everyone!
Treat.com/Tiny Prints, Inc. sas4
Try out Treat.com with a free greeting card. Options include birthday cards, anniversary cards and more.
TrueModelShips/TSC shops
Buy Handcrafted Model Ships, Model Boats, and Nautical Decor
Tudor Dressing/ToBeAPirate.com
Real Medieval Clothing. Relive the Era with Authentic Wear. Ready Stock, Secure Online Shopping
Ty’s Toy Box
Who is your child's favorite character? Ty's Toy Box has an enormous selection of characters that you can personalize for free. They have DVDs, CDs, toys, games, clothing, school supplies, books, party supplies, and more. You can find the perfect gift for the child at Ty's Toy Box.

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U Links

UK Celtic Jewellery
Celtic and Claddagh Jewellery
United Shades
World-Class Designer Sunglasses on Sale at UnitedShades.com

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V Links

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W Links

WalMart
Save on Value of the Day and Rollback Specials at Walmart.com!
WatchCo.com
Get the watch that best suits your lifestyle at WatchCo.com!
Wedding Paper Divas/Tiny Prints
Stylish Wedding Invitations, Save the Dates, Place Cards, and More

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Z Links